TITANIC II

"The discovery of two large pieces of the Titanic's hull on the ocean floor indicates the fabled luxury liner sank faster than previously thought, researchers said Monday."... is the gist of an article that appeared on CNN.com a few days ago. 5th December 2005 to be exact.

You can find the original article on CNN here..

Close to a hundred years after the tragedy, the Titanic still fascinates..

A tentative timeline for future findings about the Titanic and their corresponding news clippings follow:

April 18th, 2055
Scientists discovered yesterday that the iceberg that struck the Titanic was actually not an iceberg but a meteor that crashed into the earth around 1000 years ago. Matter embedded in the hull tells researchers that this meteor was made of a strange element that has not been discovered yet. The porous nature of this element enabled the meteor to float. There is an on-going search for a suitable name for the element. Unfortunately, though 'titanium' is the most logical name, it already exists. Most scientists are currently leaning towards 'titanicium'.

September 7th, 2082
Recent studies of depressions on the ocean floor have refuted previous claims made in 2005 that the Titanic split into two before sinking. The size of the depression indicates clearly that the Titanic was still in one piece at the time of impact. This of course means that she sank much slower than she was thought to have in 2005. However, the reason for the existence of the two large pieces remains unknown. A twenty member research group, funded by a twenty million dollar grant from the National Science foundation (NSF), has been formed to determine the reason for the split and the possible time-period of its occurrence.

October 11th, 2091
The members of the research group sanctioned to investigate the reasons behind the split hull of the Titanic nine years ago, are said to be divided in their interpretation of what exactly happened.The first group proposes the 'Earthquake theory' which claims that the split was a result of an undersea earthquake that occurred in the vicinity in the 1940s. From the surrounding damage and effect, seismologists estimate the earthquake in question to have been atleast 8.1 in magnitude on the Richter scale. The second group proposes the 'Blue Whale theory', which claims that a blue whale pair migrating south to mate and have babies in the warmer water collided head on with the wreck of the Titanic and caused the split. 'Two distinctive dents' are quoted as proof of this occurence. The sharp edges around the dents, seem to indicate that the collision occurred relatively recently, probably sometime in the 1980s. An additional one million dollars have been sanctioned to resolve this issue and bring to light the actual happenings.

November 14, 2093
Late last afternoon, markings on the hull revealed that the name of the Titanic was not really Titanic but "Some-very-very-very-long-name-like-this". The markings are too faint to be sure of the name. It is thus surmised that the popular name Titanic reflects the size of its name and not the actual size of the ship. This discovery resolved long-standing doubts in the minds of scientists about the authenticity of the 'largest-ship' claim. These doubts have been lingering ever since intense underwater research seemed to indicate that the hull did not seem to be big enough for such a claim, even if the two pieces were put together.

July 8th, 2094
John Cameron, grandson of James Cameron has announced plans for "Titanic II" scheduled to be released in the summer of 2097 exactly one hundred years after "Titanic" hit the screens. This movie will take into account recent findings since the original movie was released. In addition it will be by far the most expensive movie ever made. This time the ship itself will not cost as much since it will be smaller. However, 'titanicium', the element the meteorite was made of is considerably more expensive than ice and so will cost a mammoth one billion dollars. In order to increase the footage of this extravagant meteorite set, the movie will include a scene in which 'Leonardo di Caprio' and 'Kate Winslet' look alikes make out in a cave on the huge meteor. This is already hyped as the major attraction of the movie. Something to watch out for!! Speculation is mounting on whether the much acclaimed sketching scene of Kate Winslet in the nude will be reproduced in this version of the movie. Only time will tell. Keep your fingers crossed.

The movie will also talk of the split of the Titanic after its sinking where 'Rachel Weisz' and 'Brendon Fraser' look alikes will take on the roles of 'researchers', who during an intense making out session, chance upon the true reason behind the splitting of the hull of the Titanic. There has already been a lot of controversy over which theory will be used. At the current time, it is rumored that John(to his credit) favors the 'Earthquake theory' over the 'Blue Whale theory'. However, it is almost certain that the ending will be finalized only after the concerned research group submits its report in late 2096.

And I thought I had nothing worthwhile to do.. :D